Day Forty Two - End Game

Having passed the forty day mark, I feel like these last days of Lent are gravy (so to speak). This, of course, conflicts with the idea that Holy Week is the most intense part of Lent. However, I will be out of town this weekend and it will probably be a good time to break the Lenten fast at that time. Thoughts of "I am cheating" shall be ascribed to the chattering mind and will recieve a knowning wink in return.

That said, this end stage brings forth a familiar mental dialogue which chatters about carrying forth the Lenten disciplines into the ordinary world once I leave the special world of Lent. From my perspective now, it seems that should be a relatively easy task to perform. However, my experiences from Lents past suggest otherwise. The usual pattern is that I fall back into my usual self destructive patterns once again over time (perhaps not imediately but eventually for sure). That is a problem. On the other hand, this Lent seems markedly different than prior Lents. For one thing, the struggle and temptation was for the most part absent. Second, my mind although troubled by my usual hang ups is also quite stable and peaceful. So I suppose I will adopt a wait and see approach. It might also be useful to adopt some rules to keep me on the right path. I have a history of becoming obsessive with rules of this kind so I must also be on my guard not to fall into that trap either. There are many traps.

In any event, I consider this Lent to have been very, very successful. I am pleased with what I have accomplished (while being cognizant of the ego implications). There is always hope that things can improve. Hell, we went from eight years of George W. Bush to a Barak Obama presidency. We shall see. We shall see.