Having passed the forty day mark, I feel like these last days of Lent are gravy (so to speak). This, of course, conflicts with the idea that Holy Week is the most intense part of Lent. However, I will be out of town this weekend and it will probably be a good time to break the Lenten fast at that time. Thoughts of "I am cheating" shall be ascribed to the chattering mind and will recieve a knowning wink in return.
That said, this end stage brings forth a familiar mental dialogue which chatters about carrying forth the Lenten disciplines into the ordinary world once I leave the special world of Lent. From my perspective now, it seems that should be a relatively easy task to perform. However, my experiences from Lents past suggest otherwise. The usual pattern is that I fall back into my usual self destructive patterns once again over time (perhaps not imediately but eventually for sure). That is a problem. On the other hand, this Lent seems markedly different than prior Lents. For one thing, the struggle and temptation was for the most part absent. Second, my mind although troubled by my usual hang ups is also quite stable and peaceful. So I suppose I will adopt a wait and see approach. It might also be useful to adopt some rules to keep me on the right path. I have a history of becoming obsessive with rules of this kind so I must also be on my guard not to fall into that trap either. There are many traps.
In any event, I consider this Lent to have been very, very successful. I am pleased with what I have accomplished (while being cognizant of the ego implications). There is always hope that things can improve. Hell, we went from eight years of George W. Bush to a Barak Obama presidency. We shall see. We shall see.
Showing posts with label Milestones. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Milestones. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Day Twenty Seven - Past Half Way (Definitely)
Either way you look at it, I have made it past the midway point of Lent. This of course brings me back to the "Milestones" entry I made back on March 3. In that entry I talked about how keeping track of milestones in Lent (perhaps) misses the point in that (1) it turns Lent into an endurance contest rather than a chance for transformation through self reflection, and (2) it takes the mind out of the present by focusing on the end point. So, here I am marking another milestone. Two things come to mind. First, I am aware that I have a tendency to focus on milestones so I am not doing this un-mindfully. As such, I should not become too concerned that I am doing this, for to do so would be counter productive one step further. I am doing it, I am aware of it, that's fine, and that's it. Second, am I concerned about milestones because of what I just spoke about, or am I concerned that someone reading this blog might see this entry and the entry on March 3, and acknowledge the conflict? There's no direct and immediate way to tell what my subconscious motives are. I am pretty sure whatever the motivation is, the correct response is not to dwell on that and to just continue forward. For all of that is a distraction (and a paranoid distraction at that) from what is really important. What is really important (I think) is that right now I am sober and fully awake to this present moment. What has happened in the past, what will happen in the future and thinking about what I am thinking about is not as important as what is happening, what I am doing and what I think RIGHT NOW. Now, there is one additional step to take. I had expected the removal of crutches to provide solutions to the problems but really it has only allowed me to see them and to admit to them. I suppose solving a problem requires an additional step. That additional step requires action. I don't know what that action is or will be. I am pretty sure I am awake and see things for what they are. The next step is to act.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Day Twenty - Half Way (Sort of)
If Lent were 40 days long today would be the halfway point. Lent, however, is not 40 days but is 47 days from Ash Wednesday to Easter. Here are some passages from the Catholic Encyclopedia on the subject:
(http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09152a.htm)
Duration of the fast
In determining this period of forty days the example of Moses, Elias, and Christ must have exercised a predominant influence, but it is also possible that the fact was borne in mind that Christ lay forty hours in the tomb. On the other hand just as Pentecost (the fifty days) was a period during which Christians were joyous and prayed standing, though they were not always engaged in such prayer, so the Quadragesima (the forty days) was originally a period marked by fasting, but not necessarily a period in which the faithful fasted every day. Still, this principle was differently understood in different localities, and great divergences of practice were the result. In Rome, in the fifth century, Lent lasted six weeks, but according to the historian Socrates there were only three weeks of actual fasting, exclusive even then of the Saturday and Sunday and if Duchesne's view may be trusted, these weeks were not continuous, but were the first, the fourth, and sixth of the series, being connected with the ordinations (Christian Worship, 243). Possibly, however, these three weeks had to do with the "scrutinies" preparatory to Baptism, for by some authorities (e.g., A.J. Maclean in his "Recent Discoveries") the duty of fasting along with the candidate for baptism is put forward as the chief influence at work in the development of the forty days. But throughout the Orient generally, with some few exceptions, the same arrangement prevailed as St. Athanasius's "Festal Letters" show us to have obtained in Alexandria, namely, the six weeks of Lent were only preparatory to a fast of exceptional severity maintained during Holy Week. This is enjoined by the "Apostolic Constitutions" (V.13), and presupposed by St. Chrysostom (Hom. xxx in Gen., I). But the number forty, having once established itself, produced other modifications. It seemed to many necessary that there should not only be fasting during the forty days but forty actual fasting days. Thus we find Ætheria in her "Peregrinatio" speaking of a Lent of eight weeks in all observed at Jerusalem, which, remembering that both the Saturday and Sunday of ordinary weeks were exempt, gives five times eight, i.e., forty days for fasting. On the other hand, in many localities people were content to observe no more than a six weeks' period, sometimes, as at Milan, fasting only five days in the week after the oriental fashion (Ambrose, "De Elia et Jejunio", 10). In the time of Gregory the Great (590-604) there were apparently at Rome six weeks of six days each, making thirty-six fast days in all, which St. Gregory, who is followed therein by many medieval writers, describes as the spiritual tithing of the year, thirty-six days being approximately the tenth part of three hundred and sixty-five. At a later date the wish to realize the exact number of forty days led to the practice of beginning Lent upon our present Ash Wednesday, but the Church of Milan, even to this day, adheres to the more primitive arrangement, which still betrays itself in the Roman Missal when the priest in the Secret of the Mass on the first Sunday of Lent speaks of "sacrificium quadragesimalis initii", the sacrifice of the opening of Lent...
From what has been said it will be clear that in the early Middle Ages Lent throughout the greater part of the Western Church consisted of forty weekdays, which were all fast days, and six Sundays.
(http://www.newadvent.org/cathen/09152a.htm)
Duration of the fast
In determining this period of forty days the example of Moses, Elias, and Christ must have exercised a predominant influence, but it is also possible that the fact was borne in mind that Christ lay forty hours in the tomb. On the other hand just as Pentecost (the fifty days) was a period during which Christians were joyous and prayed standing, though they were not always engaged in such prayer, so the Quadragesima (the forty days) was originally a period marked by fasting, but not necessarily a period in which the faithful fasted every day. Still, this principle was differently understood in different localities, and great divergences of practice were the result. In Rome, in the fifth century, Lent lasted six weeks, but according to the historian Socrates there were only three weeks of actual fasting, exclusive even then of the Saturday and Sunday and if Duchesne's view may be trusted, these weeks were not continuous, but were the first, the fourth, and sixth of the series, being connected with the ordinations (Christian Worship, 243). Possibly, however, these three weeks had to do with the "scrutinies" preparatory to Baptism, for by some authorities (e.g., A.J. Maclean in his "Recent Discoveries") the duty of fasting along with the candidate for baptism is put forward as the chief influence at work in the development of the forty days. But throughout the Orient generally, with some few exceptions, the same arrangement prevailed as St. Athanasius's "Festal Letters" show us to have obtained in Alexandria, namely, the six weeks of Lent were only preparatory to a fast of exceptional severity maintained during Holy Week. This is enjoined by the "Apostolic Constitutions" (V.13), and presupposed by St. Chrysostom (Hom. xxx in Gen., I). But the number forty, having once established itself, produced other modifications. It seemed to many necessary that there should not only be fasting during the forty days but forty actual fasting days. Thus we find Ætheria in her "Peregrinatio" speaking of a Lent of eight weeks in all observed at Jerusalem, which, remembering that both the Saturday and Sunday of ordinary weeks were exempt, gives five times eight, i.e., forty days for fasting. On the other hand, in many localities people were content to observe no more than a six weeks' period, sometimes, as at Milan, fasting only five days in the week after the oriental fashion (Ambrose, "De Elia et Jejunio", 10). In the time of Gregory the Great (590-604) there were apparently at Rome six weeks of six days each, making thirty-six fast days in all, which St. Gregory, who is followed therein by many medieval writers, describes as the spiritual tithing of the year, thirty-six days being approximately the tenth part of three hundred and sixty-five. At a later date the wish to realize the exact number of forty days led to the practice of beginning Lent upon our present Ash Wednesday, but the Church of Milan, even to this day, adheres to the more primitive arrangement, which still betrays itself in the Roman Missal when the priest in the Secret of the Mass on the first Sunday of Lent speaks of "sacrificium quadragesimalis initii", the sacrifice of the opening of Lent...
From what has been said it will be clear that in the early Middle Ages Lent throughout the greater part of the Western Church consisted of forty weekdays, which were all fast days, and six Sundays.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Day Seven - Milestones
Day Seven - one week down. This makes me think about milestones in relation to Lent. When I say "one week down" this suggests that Lent is an endurance test and that if only I can get to the end I can return to my old ways. But the liberating part of Lent is that it provides an opportunity to release myself from my old ways and I wanted to be released from them for a reason. So perhaps thinking of Lent in terms of milestones is counter productive. Or maybe it is a question of emphasis. Perhaps some milestone marking can be fun but making Lent entirely about milestones misses the point. That point being, Lent is substantially about self reflection and self reflection requires the mind to be in the moment. When I focus on milestones I necessarily take myself out of the moment and focus on that future moment when I will be released. I suppose there is a place for that but really the only time that exists is the present and I should at least be mindful that the present takes precedence over milestones during Lent.
---GJC
---GJC
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