(Taken from an old journal entry dated Thursday November 17, 2005)
I'm going to leave the "goal / guarantee" topic for now and think about forgiveness... There are so many things, embarrassing moments, that I constantly think about. These things I have done in the past. Sometimes the remote past that I cannot let go of. I need absolution bit I don't know how to get it. I need to absolve myself but I just can't seem to be able to do it. Perhaps meditating on this will give me some answers.
(Taken from an old journal entry dated Friday November 18, 2005)
Do goals, guarantees and the need for absolution all relate in some way? Goals and absolution relate in that they both are concerned with the self and making the self better. I suppose there are no guarantees that goals will be achieved or absolution will be attained. The link here is the nagging doubt of life (aka suffering or existential anxiety).
What can be done about it? I guess I hold out hope that meditation will open some doors. I don't know.
I'm beginning to think about Lent. One vow I'm considering is to wake up at 5:00am and either exercise or work on TT. Of course this will be in conjunction with not drinking. I'm also considering reading Aquinas...
Commentary:
Reliving embarrassing moments is not as much of a problem as it used to be. I think I can attribute this to being more aware of my mind and how it functions. Embarrassment is a form of anxiety usually centered on past events or the present situation but in both instances there is a perceived awareness of the disapproval of others. At this point I am better able to distance myself from those thoughts or observe them and this seems to have robbed them of most of their power to recycle themselves and generate more anxious feelings.
The absolution I spoke about had to do with forgiving myself. In these situations my embarrassment and related anxiety were a form of self punishment for the wrongs that I had committed. I had to forgive myself in order to stop punishing myself. I've often thought that the Catholic confessional was a ritualized way of allowing the self to forgive the self. Many things about Christianity seem to be external metaphors for internal truths. Perhaps these metaphors are easier to digest than the actual reality of the situation at first. That is of course if the metaphor is true. I'm not entirely sure about that but it is of interest to me.
Finally, I see that there are glimmers of hope for me to escape these prisons I have created for myself. One is meditation and the other is Lent (which in a way is really a drawn out period of meditation). These seem to be the keys to the prison somehow. At least I am drawn to them as such. The jury is still out on that one.
Showing posts with label Meditation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Meditation. Show all posts
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Guarantees
(Taken From a Journal Entry Dated Tuesday November 15, 2005)
There are no guarantees in life. Even that statement is not a guarantee - because I suppose under certain circumstances there are. Let us say that as a general rule there are no guarantees. But sometimes there are exceptions.
So what is the next step? I suppose it is to make the best out of what you have. I am not ready to give up on success. I don't think that's what this is about. You have to do what you like doing. Let's define success as doing what you want to do.
I meditated for 20 minutes on the concept of no guarantees. Hughey barked at something. Part of me was frustrated that he broke my concentration. Part of me tried to treat it as a learning experience. That is, there is no guarantee that I will have 20 minutes of peace and quiet to meditate.
I did a few minutes of yoga un-timed. It felt good. I would like to get back into that routine. This gets us into the goal dilemma. How do goals relate to guarantees?
I have several goals. I want to be healthy. I want to be creative and productive. I want to be a valuable part of a team. I want to be successful and financially secure. Right now I do not feel like discussing how to achieve those goals.
Commentary:
This entry (as memory serves) was inspired by a meditation seminar I attended while going through my yoga training. The instructor made a point of emphasizing the fact that there are no guarantees in life and (I suppose) to the extent we expect them and they do not materialize we suffer. Interestingly, I made a connection between goals and guarantees. I think goals are a type of guarantee we make for ourselves. If only I can achieve this goal then I will be happy. That may or may not be the case. But then again, is having no goals a better alternative? Perhaps it is in the way we approach our goals. It is the mindset, or what we perceive is hanging in the balance depending upon whether the goal is or is not achieved.
Another observation I made while reading this is how "in my mind" I was when I wrote this. This is particularly evident to me in the third paragraph. I was trying to achieve something by meditating. Hughey was getting in the way of that somehow. I'm not sure I was aware at the time of what it was I was trying to achieve. I think that now I would say I was trying to achieve "mindfulness" or a higher level of awareness of how in my mind I was at the time. However, being so in my mind I was not able to see this. And yet, I still meditated. What a long (and tiring) unfolding process this has been.
There are no guarantees in life. Even that statement is not a guarantee - because I suppose under certain circumstances there are. Let us say that as a general rule there are no guarantees. But sometimes there are exceptions.
So what is the next step? I suppose it is to make the best out of what you have. I am not ready to give up on success. I don't think that's what this is about. You have to do what you like doing. Let's define success as doing what you want to do.
I meditated for 20 minutes on the concept of no guarantees. Hughey barked at something. Part of me was frustrated that he broke my concentration. Part of me tried to treat it as a learning experience. That is, there is no guarantee that I will have 20 minutes of peace and quiet to meditate.
I did a few minutes of yoga un-timed. It felt good. I would like to get back into that routine. This gets us into the goal dilemma. How do goals relate to guarantees?
I have several goals. I want to be healthy. I want to be creative and productive. I want to be a valuable part of a team. I want to be successful and financially secure. Right now I do not feel like discussing how to achieve those goals.
Commentary:
This entry (as memory serves) was inspired by a meditation seminar I attended while going through my yoga training. The instructor made a point of emphasizing the fact that there are no guarantees in life and (I suppose) to the extent we expect them and they do not materialize we suffer. Interestingly, I made a connection between goals and guarantees. I think goals are a type of guarantee we make for ourselves. If only I can achieve this goal then I will be happy. That may or may not be the case. But then again, is having no goals a better alternative? Perhaps it is in the way we approach our goals. It is the mindset, or what we perceive is hanging in the balance depending upon whether the goal is or is not achieved.
Another observation I made while reading this is how "in my mind" I was when I wrote this. This is particularly evident to me in the third paragraph. I was trying to achieve something by meditating. Hughey was getting in the way of that somehow. I'm not sure I was aware at the time of what it was I was trying to achieve. I think that now I would say I was trying to achieve "mindfulness" or a higher level of awareness of how in my mind I was at the time. However, being so in my mind I was not able to see this. And yet, I still meditated. What a long (and tiring) unfolding process this has been.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Brief Note Regarding Talking About Meditation
I just finished a great book about meditation called "The Joy of Living" by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. Towards the end he mentioned that it is better not to talk about experiences had during meditation because it tends to promote pride which is somewhat antithetical to the process. I think (from my humble and inexperienced position regarding the topic) that this makes a lot of sense. Therefore, in that spirit I will only discuss meditation in a general way without discussing my own personal experiences, going forward.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Morality, Meditation and Anxiety
Morality causes anxiety. When the mind perceives that a moral code has been broken then punishment must be meted out in the form of anxiety. Under normal circumstances the self and the mind are one so that when the mind produces anxiety the self feels it. Meditation (on the other hand) alleviates anxiety by putting distance between the self and the mind whereby the mind cannot so easily infect the self with anxiety. Now, it could be said that an anxious self tends to act immorally. For example, one reaction to anxiety is to take action to get rid of anxiety. The most common tactic is to distract the self in some way and the most effective distractions are typically the most destructive. Alcohol comes to mind here. Another reaction to anxiety is to become irritable and to lash out at other people. So, from this perspective, meditation is a moral act even though its immediate effect is to insulate the self from the punishment it seemingly deserves. In the long run (theoretically) the act of meditating will promote moral behavior by reducing anxiety. So in a round about way, meditation produces moral behavior by avoiding the punishment for imoral behavior. Or something like that. This reminds me of the wheel of suffering or samsara. Perhaps it is a miniature version.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Your Father Who Sees in Secret
But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you. (Matt 6:6)
There is a sense in Christianity that thoughts matter and "improper" thoughts (e.g., coveting and lust) are sinful and morally wrong. Now, my understanding of Buddhism (and I make no claim to be an authority on the subject) is that thoughts are random and unavoidable and it is best not to get caught up in them. So, under one system these thoughts are crimes requiring a system of justice to mete out punishment and under the other, the thoughts themselves are in a sense their own punishment. Is there some way to reconcile these two positions?
I've often thought that the external, personal deity of Christianity is a metaphor for the actual thing. On one level this makes sense because God being outside of creation is probably not bound by the rules of creation and any attempt to define Him would probably define Him as an entity less than He actually is. This reminds me of a statement my freshman year roommate made to justify his non belief in an omnipotent god. "Can God make a rock so heavy that he can't lift it?" This question, I think, points out the limited nature of speech to describe the divine more than it offers an insight into the divine. So, what we cannot define with words, we describe with symbols.
The question then becomes, who is this Father that sees in secret? Is it an external entity sitting on a throne? Is it a deeper part of the self? Is it something else entirely? I think the answer to this question might serve to reconcile the Christian and Buddhist concepts of thought. But I really can't be any more specific than that. It's a cop out, I know.
There is a sense in Christianity that thoughts matter and "improper" thoughts (e.g., coveting and lust) are sinful and morally wrong. Now, my understanding of Buddhism (and I make no claim to be an authority on the subject) is that thoughts are random and unavoidable and it is best not to get caught up in them. So, under one system these thoughts are crimes requiring a system of justice to mete out punishment and under the other, the thoughts themselves are in a sense their own punishment. Is there some way to reconcile these two positions?
I've often thought that the external, personal deity of Christianity is a metaphor for the actual thing. On one level this makes sense because God being outside of creation is probably not bound by the rules of creation and any attempt to define Him would probably define Him as an entity less than He actually is. This reminds me of a statement my freshman year roommate made to justify his non belief in an omnipotent god. "Can God make a rock so heavy that he can't lift it?" This question, I think, points out the limited nature of speech to describe the divine more than it offers an insight into the divine. So, what we cannot define with words, we describe with symbols.
The question then becomes, who is this Father that sees in secret? Is it an external entity sitting on a throne? Is it a deeper part of the self? Is it something else entirely? I think the answer to this question might serve to reconcile the Christian and Buddhist concepts of thought. But I really can't be any more specific than that. It's a cop out, I know.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Moral Implications of Meditation
According to my understanding of meditation the self (i.e., that part of consciousness that is able to observe thoughts) observes the mind (i.e., that part of consciousness that produces thoughts) and by doing so the self becomes detached from the mind. In this detached state, the mind becomes something of a seperate entity. This would imply (at least it does to me) that the self, therefore, is not responsible for the actions of the mind. As such, as the mind goes through the normal course of the day coveting, lustful, jealous, spiteful etc. there is a sense that the self can say "well, that's just the mind doing that and I'm not responsible for it." In other words, the self is not morally responsible for the actions of the mind even though it might experience the "pleasures" associated with the mind's bad behavior. It seems to me that meditation can then become a way of obsolving the self from its own "sinful" behavior. This confuses me a little.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Progress With Meditation
I've recently reached a point where I can better observe my mind in action. It is difficult to explain in words but it seems significant. There are points during the day that I become embarrassed for different reasons but I can now sort of observe this happening with the mindset of "oh, there it is again." Previously, I would have become enveloped in the embarrassment and that would have been my state of mind. But now I am to a certain degree insulated from it. Of course this does not encapsulate the subtleties of the experience but it points in the right direction. It is not a pleasant experience necessarily but is certainly more pleasant than experiencing embarrassment. More as it develops...
Addendum:
I've been mulling a specific example of the embarrassment I have been experiencing lately. I have been reading a book entitled "The Joy of Living" by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. The book is a basic instruction on Buddhist meditation as well as the philosophy and science related to the practice. I typically read this book on the train going to and from work. The cover of the book has a picture of the author dressed in his Buddhist monk robes. Recently I have become aware that I tend to hide the cover from the other people on the train by holding the book such that the picture is facing the floor or my body. The impulse to do this is strong. Now, when I observe myself doing this, my intellectual response is "there's no need to do that because there's no reason to be embarrassed about it." Yet I do it just the same. Upon further reflection, I think the reason behind my impulse is something along the lines of the other people on the train will see the picture of the monk and me reading the book and have one of several reactions. One reaction could be that they will see me, a Westerner, reading a book about Eastern philosophy and disapprove or think I was some "New Ager". Another reaction might be that they would see me reading the book and question my sincerity or say to themselves what right do I have to reach for enlightenment? Another reaction might be that I am somehow trying to impress others by my eclectic choice of reading material (this is their thought I am describing - actually it is my perception of their thoughts - Yeesh). Of course, on their face, these thoughts are ridiculous. I am perfectly entitled to read what ever I want and there is nothing so terrible about other people being aware of it. Unfortunately, the urge remains regardless of whether I am intellectually aware of it or am observing it in a meditative state. The interesting thought is that I am reading a book on meditation and meditating on my ego associations related to reading it in front of others. (At least I thought that was interesting.) :)
Addendum:
I've been mulling a specific example of the embarrassment I have been experiencing lately. I have been reading a book entitled "The Joy of Living" by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. The book is a basic instruction on Buddhist meditation as well as the philosophy and science related to the practice. I typically read this book on the train going to and from work. The cover of the book has a picture of the author dressed in his Buddhist monk robes. Recently I have become aware that I tend to hide the cover from the other people on the train by holding the book such that the picture is facing the floor or my body. The impulse to do this is strong. Now, when I observe myself doing this, my intellectual response is "there's no need to do that because there's no reason to be embarrassed about it." Yet I do it just the same. Upon further reflection, I think the reason behind my impulse is something along the lines of the other people on the train will see the picture of the monk and me reading the book and have one of several reactions. One reaction could be that they will see me, a Westerner, reading a book about Eastern philosophy and disapprove or think I was some "New Ager". Another reaction might be that they would see me reading the book and question my sincerity or say to themselves what right do I have to reach for enlightenment? Another reaction might be that I am somehow trying to impress others by my eclectic choice of reading material (this is their thought I am describing - actually it is my perception of their thoughts - Yeesh). Of course, on their face, these thoughts are ridiculous. I am perfectly entitled to read what ever I want and there is nothing so terrible about other people being aware of it. Unfortunately, the urge remains regardless of whether I am intellectually aware of it or am observing it in a meditative state. The interesting thought is that I am reading a book on meditation and meditating on my ego associations related to reading it in front of others. (At least I thought that was interesting.) :)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Therefore I am Bad
There is a tendency in my thinking to observe "things" about myself and then to arrive at the conclusion that I am deficient and therefore should feel bad about myself. I used the word "things" because that word is sufficiently vague to cover the various categories of "things" to which I am referring. For example, a thing could be an embarrassing memory, a bad habit, recent performance, prospects for the future or the various aspects of the state of my present life. The list is endless. But the point of this post is to recognize this dynamic. I observe these things and then I conclude that I am deficient and should therefore should and do feel bad about myself.
I've recently been reading a book on Buddhist meditation. This is not the first time that I have exposed myself to the Buddhist mode of thought. However, like most learning experiences something is not fully appreciated at first glance but rather appreciation deepens with each repeated exposure. So, even though the material in this book is familiar to me, the experience of the material this time around has deepened and specifically has allowed me to witness this dynamic rather that be swallowed up by it.
Now let's return to the thought tendency I described in the first paragraph. By taking a step back from the thought rather than immediately feeling bad upon experiencing a "thing" I now see that there is something akin to a choice which is skipped over. I don't have to feel bad after experiencing the thing because the badness I attach to the thing is exactly that. It is badness that I attached to it. In reality (define as you wish) the things are neither good nor bad but merely things. It is the inability to see this that has kept me imprisoned within this tendency. Hopefully this realization will facilitate my liberation.
I've recently been reading a book on Buddhist meditation. This is not the first time that I have exposed myself to the Buddhist mode of thought. However, like most learning experiences something is not fully appreciated at first glance but rather appreciation deepens with each repeated exposure. So, even though the material in this book is familiar to me, the experience of the material this time around has deepened and specifically has allowed me to witness this dynamic rather that be swallowed up by it.
Now let's return to the thought tendency I described in the first paragraph. By taking a step back from the thought rather than immediately feeling bad upon experiencing a "thing" I now see that there is something akin to a choice which is skipped over. I don't have to feel bad after experiencing the thing because the badness I attach to the thing is exactly that. It is badness that I attached to it. In reality (define as you wish) the things are neither good nor bad but merely things. It is the inability to see this that has kept me imprisoned within this tendency. Hopefully this realization will facilitate my liberation.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Day Thirty Seven - Being Present
Certain spiritual practices and meditation in general emphasize the importance of "being present." The idea as I understand it is most of the time the mind tends to devote some or all of its attention to distractions. These Distractions can be both negative or positive in terms of E-Value whereas keeping the mind present can also be both positive or negative in both E-Value and HP-Value. When the mind is distracted it is not fully present and becomes identified with the distraction. In a sense, the self becomes imprisoned by the distraction. Bringing attention to the present is a way to wake the mind and liberate the self by allowing the self to observe the mind and its distractions as well as the self's direct sensations and the immediate environment. When the self observes the mind at work, it is necessarily un-bounded by the mind and is to that extent free.
I. Distractions and Awareness
A. Distractions
The following is a non exhaustive list of the many distractions which allow the self to be imprisoned by the mind:
1. Focusing on the Past
The mind can focus on the past in both negative (i.e., ways which cause pain) and positive manners (i.e., ways which do not cause pain). Negatively Focusing on the Past (“NFP”) can take one of two forms, "Regret" and "Past Envy". With "Regret," the mind remembers a moment when some action was or was not taken which in turn causes the self to experience pain. With "Past Envy," the mind longingly remembers a time that seems better than the self's present condition and the act of comparison causes pain by reinforcing the relatively negative state of the present. Both forms of NFP are wasteful in that they can accomplish nothing to fix the apparent problem rather than to punish the self for whatever perceived crime was committed in either the distant or near past. In this sense, self punishment is perhaps a way to bring about some kind of justice. However, in most cases the punishment seems to be unduly harsh and in all cases present action would do more to rectify the situation than would focusing on the past in this manner.Positively Focusing on the Past (“PFP”) can also take two forms, “Fond Remembrance” and “Relief”. “Fond Remembrance” is the mind focusing on a pleasant past experience which does not involve the present experience of pain. “Relief” is the mind focusing on negative past events which cause the self to feel a sense of relief because that particular event has passed. Although PFP is seemingly not as wasteful or destructive as NFP, it is a distraction from being present and in this sense creates a kind of prison for the mind.
2. Focusing on the Future
The mind can focus on the future in both negative (i.e., ways which cause pain) and positive (i.e., ways which do not cause pain) manners. Negatively Focusing on the Future (“NFF”) can exist in one of two forms, "Dread" and "Future Envy." With "Dread" the mind focuses on a prediction that the self will suffer some negative event in the future which results in the self experiencing pain. With "Future Envy" the mind focuses on a possible future time in which the self will live in a better situation than the present. The mind experiences pain in making this comparison because the future time emphasizes the negativity of the present. Positively Focusing on the Future (“PFF”) can also exist in one of two forms, “Anticipation” and “Hope”. With Anticipation, the mind focuses on a prediction that the self will experience a positive event in the future without comparison to the present and without causing the self to experience pain. With Hope the mind focuses on the comparison between the negative present and a positive prediction of the future from which the self can draw comfort because the negative present predicament is perceived to be finite.
Both NFF and PFF serve to distract the mind from the present. NFF causes pain whereas PFF does not. However, because both serve to distract they are both a prison for the self when the mind identifies with the distraction.
3. Desire
Desire is another form of distraction in which the mind focuses on something (typically material or intellectual) which the self does not currently possess but would like to possess. The second noble truth of the Buddha states that the cause of suffering is desire. (See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Noble_Truths). To focus on anything but the present is to desire and thus to suffer. When the mind focuses on the past it is desiring either that a previous negative moment could be undone or that a previous positive moment could be relived. When the mind focuses on the future it is desiring to avoid some future pain or to enjoy some future reward. This is desire through comparison. That is, the present moment is being compared to some past or future time. The suffering results when the present does not measure up to the object of fixation or when the object of fixation taints the experience of the present. Desire itself does not necessarily entail focusing on the past or the future. The mind can desire material or intellectual wealth independent of time. Here the mind focuses on the possession of something which is not possessed at the present moment (or perhaps the loss of a burden which is currently being carried). When the mind becomes identified with the object of desire it looses touch with the present in the same way as when the mind focuses on another time. Therefore Desire can cause both pain and imprisonment of the self.
4. Goals
There are E-Value goals and HP-Value goals. Because death is a certainty for everyone and all material possessions including the physical body are ultimately lost from the self, amassing wealth for its own sake is an E-Value goal. It is possible, however, to think of ways to amass wealth as an HP-Value goal. For example, if constant debt is a distraction of the mind, paying off the debt and amassing wealth to avoid debt in the future can be a form of liberation from the distraction except to the extent amassing wealth itself becomes a distraction. The Goal itself will always be a distraction. However, a goal may be a way to ultimately eliminate distraction even if it is a distraction in the short term.
5. Embarrassment and Pride
Embarrassment and Pride are both distractions in present time. Embarrassment is a the mind focusing on its own perceived, negative perceptions from others of the self, which in turn, causes pain. Pride is the mind focusing on its own perceived, positive perceptions from others of the self, which does not cause pain. In some situations the self can be embarrassed or proud without reference to others but this I suspect is a rare proposition. Because the mind identifies with embarrassment and pride, it looses awareness of the present moment and for this reason they are distractions.
B. Awareness
The following is a non exhaustive list of those things which bring the mind into awareness of the present moment:
1. Meditation
Meditation (as I define it) is the conscious action of bringing the mind to focus on the present moment without distraction or limitation. It is effort to the extent that the mind does not focus on the effort. That is, the mind might identify with the effort to remain focused on the present. Once it does this, it is no longer meditating but rather is in a state of distraction. The mind is limited when it focus only on one or a limited set of stimuli to the exclusion of others. Sometimes a meditator might focus on the breath or the repetition of a mantra as a means of focusing the mind. But this is merely an exercise to gain the mental discipline to keep the mind aware and undistracted.
In general, the mind’s natural tendency is to jump from one distraction to the next in a seemingly random fashion. Perhaps the mind does this because it is searching for pleasurable experiences and finding one thought to be unpleasurable skips to the next thought until that becomes unpleasurable. Perhaps the mind fears being bored and the thought of not being occupied with something must be avoided. Perhaps the mind is a machine which manufactures thoughts but has not been calibrated to do so in a disciplined manner. Whatever the reason or combination of reasons, the act of meditating is an exercise to at first train the mind to keep from being distracted and ultimately to free the self from the mind.
2. Non Meditative ways of Focusing on the Present
Certain physical experiences can also draw the mind to the present without the force of will. Among these experiences are pain, pleasure, and excitement. When the physical body experiences pain the mind will immediately focus on this experience to the exclusion of other competing thoughts depending on the severity of the pain. Although the mind is drawn to the present, it is confined to the experience of pain itself and perhaps ways that the pain can be alleviated. To this extent, the mind is imprisoned. Once the pain resolves the mind then typically becomes distracted with Relief or perhaps Dred of the pain returning. A similar notion is true with pleasure. Here the mind focuses on the pleasurable sensation and ways to prolong the sensation. When the sensation has passed the mind typically is distracted with Past Envy or Fond Remembrance. Excitement can also draw the mind into the present. For example, the experience of riding on a roller coaster draws the mind into the present by the excitement of the ride. Clearly the intent behind the experience is not to reach the end point (it is not a mode of transportation in that sense). Also, certain narcotics can also draw the mind into the present by allowing the mind to focus on whatever sensation the drug is producing. The point however is to combine being present with freedom.
To the extent any of these experiences restrict the freedom of the mind I suspect the benefits of being present are lessened. On the other hand to the extent any of these experiences can draw the mind to the present with freedom, I suspect will be beneficial.
II. What is the benefit of Being Present?
The question now arises, why is it so important that the mind be undistracted? What is gained by the work involved in attaining this state of mind?
A. Benefits of Being Present
1. Physical Benefits
There are scientific studies which support the notion that meditation does relieve the body of stress in both the short term and the long term. (See: http://www.psych.rochester.edu/SDT/documents/2003_BrownRyan.pdf). There are certainly less scientific claims which state that meditation can bring about all kinds of immediate benefits from success in the work place to world peace. All of these benefits can be classified as E-Valuable benefits. (See: http://www.tm.org/learn/reasons.html).
2. Spiritual Benefits
Meditation is also the method by which some religious practitioners achieve enlightenment, liberation and / or salvation. These states, because they are spiritual, do not lend themselves to description but must be experienced first hand to really know what they are about. Not having ever experienced this state of being myself, I can only speculate as to what they are like. It would seem logical to presume that meditation detaches the self from the worries of everyday life and in this sense liberates the self from everyday life. The tenants of Christianity strongly imply that it is the everyday world which must be overcome to receive salvation. Consider this familiar saying from the Gospel of Matthew, "...I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. Matthew 19:24" Here Jesus explains that wealth is a detriment to achieving salvation. The implied reason is that the generation and preservation of wealth causes the self to become focused on the material to the detriment of the spiritual. Consider also the seven traditional deadly sins of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. All these sins entail the common thread of focusing on the material to the exception of the spiritual. Just what exactly this salvation or kingdom of God entails is open to speculation. It could be an inner peace. It could be a physical location. It could be both or something entirely different.
B. Benefits of Not Being Present
Certainly it is possible to think of instances where it is beneficial to not be present in the manner described above. For example, the act of logically thinking through a problem requires a certain detachment from the present. Furthermore, if one is experiencing pain or unpleasantness (entering a dirty public washroom for example) it might also be beneficial to distract the mind from the immediate sensations. Finally, simple boredom may also be a compelling reason to distract the mind from being present.
1. Distracting the Self from other Distractions
Sometimes the mind seeks to distract the self from other distractions (e.g. repression). There are some thoughts which are too painful for the self to experience and for this reason the mind buries those thoughts and replaces them with others. Perhaps the mind creates cravings (food, alcohol, drugs etc.) to occupy or stupefy the mind in an effort to keep the self from experiencing the painful thoughts. It has also been speculated that the mind can instigate physical pain in an effort to distract the Self from painful thoughts or emotions. (See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tension_myositis_syndrome). Meditation in this instance can be helpful because it places the Self in the observer's seat. Instead of identifying with the mind's fear of these unwelcome thoughts the Self observes the mind's strategy. At this point the Self becomes removed from the pain but also is in a position to approach the source of the pain and address it on its own terms.
C. Conclusion
Being present is a state of mind which is probably not achieved regularly by most people in the modern world. The benefits of being present can be both physical and spiritual. Likewise, the detriments of continually not being present can be both physical and spiritual. Practically speaking it is unreasonable to expect a person to be constantly present because there are many distractions which bombard and accumulate in the mind over a lifetime. Perhaps for this very reason it is important to take some time to be without distraction.
I. Distractions and Awareness
A. Distractions
The following is a non exhaustive list of the many distractions which allow the self to be imprisoned by the mind:
1. Focusing on the Past
The mind can focus on the past in both negative (i.e., ways which cause pain) and positive manners (i.e., ways which do not cause pain). Negatively Focusing on the Past (“NFP”) can take one of two forms, "Regret" and "Past Envy". With "Regret," the mind remembers a moment when some action was or was not taken which in turn causes the self to experience pain. With "Past Envy," the mind longingly remembers a time that seems better than the self's present condition and the act of comparison causes pain by reinforcing the relatively negative state of the present. Both forms of NFP are wasteful in that they can accomplish nothing to fix the apparent problem rather than to punish the self for whatever perceived crime was committed in either the distant or near past. In this sense, self punishment is perhaps a way to bring about some kind of justice. However, in most cases the punishment seems to be unduly harsh and in all cases present action would do more to rectify the situation than would focusing on the past in this manner.Positively Focusing on the Past (“PFP”) can also take two forms, “Fond Remembrance” and “Relief”. “Fond Remembrance” is the mind focusing on a pleasant past experience which does not involve the present experience of pain. “Relief” is the mind focusing on negative past events which cause the self to feel a sense of relief because that particular event has passed. Although PFP is seemingly not as wasteful or destructive as NFP, it is a distraction from being present and in this sense creates a kind of prison for the mind.
2. Focusing on the Future
The mind can focus on the future in both negative (i.e., ways which cause pain) and positive (i.e., ways which do not cause pain) manners. Negatively Focusing on the Future (“NFF”) can exist in one of two forms, "Dread" and "Future Envy." With "Dread" the mind focuses on a prediction that the self will suffer some negative event in the future which results in the self experiencing pain. With "Future Envy" the mind focuses on a possible future time in which the self will live in a better situation than the present. The mind experiences pain in making this comparison because the future time emphasizes the negativity of the present. Positively Focusing on the Future (“PFF”) can also exist in one of two forms, “Anticipation” and “Hope”. With Anticipation, the mind focuses on a prediction that the self will experience a positive event in the future without comparison to the present and without causing the self to experience pain. With Hope the mind focuses on the comparison between the negative present and a positive prediction of the future from which the self can draw comfort because the negative present predicament is perceived to be finite.
Both NFF and PFF serve to distract the mind from the present. NFF causes pain whereas PFF does not. However, because both serve to distract they are both a prison for the self when the mind identifies with the distraction.
3. Desire
Desire is another form of distraction in which the mind focuses on something (typically material or intellectual) which the self does not currently possess but would like to possess. The second noble truth of the Buddha states that the cause of suffering is desire. (See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Noble_Truths). To focus on anything but the present is to desire and thus to suffer. When the mind focuses on the past it is desiring either that a previous negative moment could be undone or that a previous positive moment could be relived. When the mind focuses on the future it is desiring to avoid some future pain or to enjoy some future reward. This is desire through comparison. That is, the present moment is being compared to some past or future time. The suffering results when the present does not measure up to the object of fixation or when the object of fixation taints the experience of the present. Desire itself does not necessarily entail focusing on the past or the future. The mind can desire material or intellectual wealth independent of time. Here the mind focuses on the possession of something which is not possessed at the present moment (or perhaps the loss of a burden which is currently being carried). When the mind becomes identified with the object of desire it looses touch with the present in the same way as when the mind focuses on another time. Therefore Desire can cause both pain and imprisonment of the self.
4. Goals
There are E-Value goals and HP-Value goals. Because death is a certainty for everyone and all material possessions including the physical body are ultimately lost from the self, amassing wealth for its own sake is an E-Value goal. It is possible, however, to think of ways to amass wealth as an HP-Value goal. For example, if constant debt is a distraction of the mind, paying off the debt and amassing wealth to avoid debt in the future can be a form of liberation from the distraction except to the extent amassing wealth itself becomes a distraction. The Goal itself will always be a distraction. However, a goal may be a way to ultimately eliminate distraction even if it is a distraction in the short term.
5. Embarrassment and Pride
Embarrassment and Pride are both distractions in present time. Embarrassment is a the mind focusing on its own perceived, negative perceptions from others of the self, which in turn, causes pain. Pride is the mind focusing on its own perceived, positive perceptions from others of the self, which does not cause pain. In some situations the self can be embarrassed or proud without reference to others but this I suspect is a rare proposition. Because the mind identifies with embarrassment and pride, it looses awareness of the present moment and for this reason they are distractions.
B. Awareness
The following is a non exhaustive list of those things which bring the mind into awareness of the present moment:
1. Meditation
Meditation (as I define it) is the conscious action of bringing the mind to focus on the present moment without distraction or limitation. It is effort to the extent that the mind does not focus on the effort. That is, the mind might identify with the effort to remain focused on the present. Once it does this, it is no longer meditating but rather is in a state of distraction. The mind is limited when it focus only on one or a limited set of stimuli to the exclusion of others. Sometimes a meditator might focus on the breath or the repetition of a mantra as a means of focusing the mind. But this is merely an exercise to gain the mental discipline to keep the mind aware and undistracted.
In general, the mind’s natural tendency is to jump from one distraction to the next in a seemingly random fashion. Perhaps the mind does this because it is searching for pleasurable experiences and finding one thought to be unpleasurable skips to the next thought until that becomes unpleasurable. Perhaps the mind fears being bored and the thought of not being occupied with something must be avoided. Perhaps the mind is a machine which manufactures thoughts but has not been calibrated to do so in a disciplined manner. Whatever the reason or combination of reasons, the act of meditating is an exercise to at first train the mind to keep from being distracted and ultimately to free the self from the mind.
2. Non Meditative ways of Focusing on the Present
Certain physical experiences can also draw the mind to the present without the force of will. Among these experiences are pain, pleasure, and excitement. When the physical body experiences pain the mind will immediately focus on this experience to the exclusion of other competing thoughts depending on the severity of the pain. Although the mind is drawn to the present, it is confined to the experience of pain itself and perhaps ways that the pain can be alleviated. To this extent, the mind is imprisoned. Once the pain resolves the mind then typically becomes distracted with Relief or perhaps Dred of the pain returning. A similar notion is true with pleasure. Here the mind focuses on the pleasurable sensation and ways to prolong the sensation. When the sensation has passed the mind typically is distracted with Past Envy or Fond Remembrance. Excitement can also draw the mind into the present. For example, the experience of riding on a roller coaster draws the mind into the present by the excitement of the ride. Clearly the intent behind the experience is not to reach the end point (it is not a mode of transportation in that sense). Also, certain narcotics can also draw the mind into the present by allowing the mind to focus on whatever sensation the drug is producing. The point however is to combine being present with freedom.
To the extent any of these experiences restrict the freedom of the mind I suspect the benefits of being present are lessened. On the other hand to the extent any of these experiences can draw the mind to the present with freedom, I suspect will be beneficial.
II. What is the benefit of Being Present?
The question now arises, why is it so important that the mind be undistracted? What is gained by the work involved in attaining this state of mind?
A. Benefits of Being Present
1. Physical Benefits
There are scientific studies which support the notion that meditation does relieve the body of stress in both the short term and the long term. (See: http://www.psych.rochester.edu/SDT/documents/2003_BrownRyan.pdf). There are certainly less scientific claims which state that meditation can bring about all kinds of immediate benefits from success in the work place to world peace. All of these benefits can be classified as E-Valuable benefits. (See: http://www.tm.org/learn/reasons.html).
2. Spiritual Benefits
Meditation is also the method by which some religious practitioners achieve enlightenment, liberation and / or salvation. These states, because they are spiritual, do not lend themselves to description but must be experienced first hand to really know what they are about. Not having ever experienced this state of being myself, I can only speculate as to what they are like. It would seem logical to presume that meditation detaches the self from the worries of everyday life and in this sense liberates the self from everyday life. The tenants of Christianity strongly imply that it is the everyday world which must be overcome to receive salvation. Consider this familiar saying from the Gospel of Matthew, "...I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. Matthew 19:24" Here Jesus explains that wealth is a detriment to achieving salvation. The implied reason is that the generation and preservation of wealth causes the self to become focused on the material to the detriment of the spiritual. Consider also the seven traditional deadly sins of lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride. All these sins entail the common thread of focusing on the material to the exception of the spiritual. Just what exactly this salvation or kingdom of God entails is open to speculation. It could be an inner peace. It could be a physical location. It could be both or something entirely different.
B. Benefits of Not Being Present
Certainly it is possible to think of instances where it is beneficial to not be present in the manner described above. For example, the act of logically thinking through a problem requires a certain detachment from the present. Furthermore, if one is experiencing pain or unpleasantness (entering a dirty public washroom for example) it might also be beneficial to distract the mind from the immediate sensations. Finally, simple boredom may also be a compelling reason to distract the mind from being present.
1. Distracting the Self from other Distractions
Sometimes the mind seeks to distract the self from other distractions (e.g. repression). There are some thoughts which are too painful for the self to experience and for this reason the mind buries those thoughts and replaces them with others. Perhaps the mind creates cravings (food, alcohol, drugs etc.) to occupy or stupefy the mind in an effort to keep the self from experiencing the painful thoughts. It has also been speculated that the mind can instigate physical pain in an effort to distract the Self from painful thoughts or emotions. (See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tension_myositis_syndrome). Meditation in this instance can be helpful because it places the Self in the observer's seat. Instead of identifying with the mind's fear of these unwelcome thoughts the Self observes the mind's strategy. At this point the Self becomes removed from the pain but also is in a position to approach the source of the pain and address it on its own terms.
C. Conclusion
Being present is a state of mind which is probably not achieved regularly by most people in the modern world. The benefits of being present can be both physical and spiritual. Likewise, the detriments of continually not being present can be both physical and spiritual. Practically speaking it is unreasonable to expect a person to be constantly present because there are many distractions which bombard and accumulate in the mind over a lifetime. Perhaps for this very reason it is important to take some time to be without distraction.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Day Thirty Four - Meditation
Words are not sufficient to describe the experience that meditation brings forth. Today I saw the chattering mind at work and felt separate from it. I looked down upon it. I observed it from afar. All those thought that say I am not worthy, they are of the chattering mind. All those thought and feelings of embarrassment and annoyance, they too are off the chattering mind. Under normal circumstances I identify with this mind, I get carried away by it, I think I am it, and what it thinks and feels I think and feel. Sometimes, however, I am aware of this. And sometimes, during meditation I actively separate from this. In so doing I am able to observe it at work. I am able to see that its thoughts and feelings are not my own. And maybe, just maybe I can reprogram it to think in a new way. For the Chattering Mind thinks the way it thinks because it has learned to think that way. It never had a teacher who took it under its wing and said do this and don't do that. It learned by trial and error and was shaped by the environment it was subjected to. Now that I see this, I can also see that what was learned can be unlearned and bad habits can be replaced by good. This thing that once imprisoned and tormented me is now like a child, full possibility and liberation.
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