Materialism and Entitlement to Happiness

There is a sense that because we live in a time of plenty from a materialistic standpoint we are not entitled to be dissatisfied. That perspective itself has its roots in materialism because it assumes that material wealth and comfort are all one needs to be happy. Therefore, if a person's happiness is a function of material wealth and that person possesses material wealth, that person should necessarily be happy. As such, when that person is not happy under those circumstances something is necessarily wrong with that person.

At the same time, however, it has been my experience the jobs and life styles that "produce" material wealth are increasingly isolating, uninspiring and unsatisfying. And yet to feel unhappy in an uninspiring state that produces wealth in turn produces a state of cognitive dissonance because of the assumption that happiness and materialism are connected. The mind cannot exist in a state of cognitive dissonance and must search for a reason to bridge the gap. The classic example is walking into a dark room, flipping the switch but the light does not come on. Instantly, the mind must find a solution to make sense of this situation - is it the fuse, the light bulb, the wiring? Perhaps this switch does not control the light I originally thought it did.

In my estimation, the point is this, material wealth and entitlement to happiness are two separate phenomena and should be treated as such regardless of how powerfully the world seems to think they are connected. We (or at least I) have been programmed to think that this connection between happiness and materialism exists. But conversely, we have been programed to think that we are not entitled to be unhappy if we have material wealth and perhaps not entitled to be happy if we don't. My sense is that it would be liberating to sever this connection.

Mental Blocks

Another aspect to the mental block phenomenon for me is a sense that I should be doing something else. This sense then conflicts with the desire to do what ever I am trying to do and that conflict produces anxiety. The anxiety (I assume) is connected with the amygdala fight or flight response which has a dampening effect on creativity. Now, this sense that I should be doing something else is an issue of entitlement. So it is not necessarily an issue of being lazy or deceitful (although it can sometimes feel that way). So, the solution in this instance would be to overcome the sense of lacking entitlement. That, unfortunately, is not an easy task.

Progress With Meditation

I've recently reached a point where I can better observe my mind in action. It is difficult to explain in words but it seems significant. There are points during the day that I become embarrassed for different reasons but I can now sort of observe this happening with the mindset of "oh, there it is again." Previously, I would have become enveloped in the embarrassment and that would have been my state of mind. But now I am to a certain degree insulated from it. Of course this does not encapsulate the subtleties of the experience but it points in the right direction. It is not a pleasant experience necessarily but is certainly more pleasant than experiencing embarrassment. More as it develops...

Addendum:

I've been mulling a specific example of the embarrassment I have been experiencing lately. I have been reading a book entitled "The Joy of Living" by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche. The book is a basic instruction on Buddhist meditation as well as the philosophy and science related to the practice. I typically read this book on the train going to and from work. The cover of the book has a picture of the author dressed in his Buddhist monk robes. Recently I have become aware that I tend to hide the cover from the other people on the train by holding the book such that the picture is facing the floor or my body. The impulse to do this is strong. Now, when I observe myself doing this, my intellectual response is "there's no need to do that because there's no reason to be embarrassed about it." Yet I do it just the same. Upon further reflection, I think the reason behind my impulse is something along the lines of the other people on the train will see the picture of the monk and me reading the book and have one of several reactions. One reaction could be that they will see me, a Westerner, reading a book about Eastern philosophy and disapprove or think I was some "New Ager". Another reaction might be that they would see me reading the book and question my sincerity or say to themselves what right do I have to reach for enlightenment? Another reaction might be that I am somehow trying to impress others by my eclectic choice of reading material (this is their thought I am describing - actually it is my perception of their thoughts - Yeesh). Of course, on their face, these thoughts are ridiculous. I am perfectly entitled to read what ever I want and there is nothing so terrible about other people being aware of it. Unfortunately, the urge remains regardless of whether I am intellectually aware of it or am observing it in a meditative state. The interesting thought is that I am reading a book on meditation and meditating on my ego associations related to reading it in front of others. (At least I thought that was interesting.) :)

Day Twenty Nine - Entitlement and Caring About the Thoughts of Others

When a person focuses on the thoughts of others he is probably not focusing on his own thoughts. Furthermore, in order for one to be entitled to something, one must be aware of what one wants, and therefore focused on one's own thoughts. In order to be happy, one must have a proper sense of entitlement. However, an over sized sense of entitlement can turn into selfishness just as an undersized sense of entitlement can turn into unnecessary humiliation and paranoia. This system seems to work in favor of the over sized sense of entitlement, because a person with an undersized sense of entitlement will think that any attempt to enlarge his sense of entitlement will be selfish (thus knocking his sense of entitlement back down to size - for in his mind, he is not entitled to be selfish because being selfish is wrong). Conversely (I suppose) a person with an over sized sense of entitlement will think that any attempt to decrease his sense of entitlement would be unfair (for in his mind he is entitled to feel entitled).

Taking myself as an example, I have problems in my life and they all relate to a low sense of entitlement. Because of this, I tend to make decisions based on what I think others will approve of. Because I tend not to consider my own wishes (or am not even aware of my own wishes) I end up in situations where I don't want to be and become resentful, depressed etc. Up until recently I have been looking at the problem of "why am I not happy?" from the perspective of "I am not happy because I am not doing what I want to do". If this were true then the simple solution would be to start doing what I want to do. However, the problem is that I do not feel entitled to do what I want to do. So, even if I were able to do what I wanted to do I would feel guilty doing it and therefore what I wanted to do would not be a pleasurable experience.

Therefore, the solution seemingly is to start feeling entitled to do what I want to do. I am not sure how to do this but I think the answer might involve meditation and prayer. If only I had an instructor.