As Lent approaches and I know that I will be giving up alcohol cold turkey it seems as if I can justify drinking more easily. This is what Mardi Gras is about. It is an excuse to drink without the guilt that may be associated with it (or perhaps less guilt). It seems to me that this demonstrates a fundemental problem with how I relate to alcohol. There is a conflict between a part of me that wants to drink unrestrictedly and another part of me that wants to not drink. I think there are various reasons behind both parts. This might be something to explore further.
-- GJC
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Hi GJC,
ReplyDeleteThis seems bang on. I've never needed to booze every day, but when the prospect arises, it's like life means booze.
I'm sure that's exactly "the alcoholic psychology" or "the psyche of the alcoholic" -- one person with the booze inside (or expecting it), and one without it (or not expecting it). It divides you in a literal way.
I know (for various reasons) that a month from now I won't be drinking at all, and now's when I find I can most easily justify it.
One might say the problem is "beating oneself up for giving in", but if you take that line -- and say that you won't beat yourself up -- it might be justification, or it might be real! See the infinite complexity?
--TSM